An Emotional Read | ARC Review: All We Could Have Been by T.E. Carter

ARC Review

Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Publication Date: May 2nd, 2019
Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
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Buy Links: Kinokuniya Malaysia | MPH Online
Source: Huge thanks to Pansing Distribution for the review copy in exchange for an honest review.


162 days.

That’s how long Lexi needs to survive at her new school. Every year, she starts somewhere else under a new name, hiding in plain sight for as long as she can manage. Her record is 134, but it's senior year now and if she can make it till June, she can disappear into the real world. Maybe a big city, where no one recognizes her and no one knows about her brother and what he did.

But this time things are different. This time there’s her new friend, Ryan, who makes her believe that she belongs somewhere. This time there’s Marcus, the boy looks at her in a way no one has before. This time she’s actually started to miss her older brother, Scott, even though she knows she shouldn’t. He was the boy who hung out with her reading comics and riding bikes. The boy who applied Band-Aids to scraped knees and chased away spiders. But he’s also the reason that she’s been in hiding away from the world, and from herself.

It turns out you can't really run away from who you are. Eventually, it catches up with you. 

It’s just 162 days, but for Lexi that's a few days too many. 


Right from the start, I read this book with zero ideas what is the book is all about and I'm not even looking at the synopsis on Goodreads because I wanted it to surprise me since it is an ARC which I think it has made me curious to know what is actually happened to the characters.

So, All We Could Have Been is about Lexi, who has been changed from one school to another throughout her school life. After everyone knows her secret she will move to another school. Because of that one thing happened in her life, she could not live the way she should be live. She couldn't enjoy her teenage life like any other girls do. She yearns for it.

Honestly, throughout reading All We Could Have Been, I do not put any expectation at all as I certainly know nothing about this book so, after I finish reading the book, I was like...I could feel the weight Lexi have to carry in her life. It was really an emotional read. I could feel the anger, sadness, hopeless in Lexi.

My heart is hurt for what happened to Lexi. Seeing her that way, being treated badly by those friends from school for the things she not do is really painful. She needs someone that she can trust to be by her side, to give moral support so that she could live her life without fear, haunt by that event and pressure. Despite those things she has to deal, I think she is the strongest person. I'm happy to see her progress relationship with Marcus - the guy who is there to give her the support she needs, an understanding person and the person whom she can trust.

"I grew up a shadow of a girl. I'm not a person anymore. I'm just leftover damage from you. You said I looked like sun-light, but that's a lie. I'm wearing yellow because I have to coordinate my clothes in solid shades so I can pretend I have control any part of who I am. That I have a voice in my own life. I can't function without this, because it's the only way I know how to decide my own fate. It's all I can do to hold on." - T.E. Carter, All We Could Have Been.

All Things We Could Have Been started off okay despite being slow and I am curious to know why and what has makes Lexi moved to another school and what is the secret she holds. The story, however, didn't really connect to me, I felt lost with the story a few times and I get annoyed with some of the characters. Despite that, I did finish the whole book without skipping any parts and it does affect my feeling and I am very emotional for what Lexi has to carry with her in her life.

"Nothing hurts more beautifully than memory." T.E. Carter, All We Could Have Been

All in all, All We Could Have Been is an emotional reading that carries sadness, grief, anger. The story also carries a message to us, - who are we to judge someone and punish a person who did nothing but struggling to build strength in his/her life.

The book is already out in the world thus do get your copy at your nearest bookstore.


1 comment

Eyqa Zq said…
OMG I also feeling emotional by reading this. Thanks for the review darling!